Poetic Reviews of Someday by duskri123
by TheUnderStudy
Summary: These are my reviews to the fanfic "Someday" by duskri123.  It is a gritty and daring Jasper/Bella fic.  I have been reviewing for a while, but Chapter 22 sparked something. It was phenomenal and this was my response to it and the following chapters.
1. Response to Chapter 22  Poem 1

****

**This Day: The Start of Everything True**

She was once called the matriarch,  
prancing mother who took care  
of the "younglings" he wanted best,  
but she missed the baby boy  
that was too weak to live this life.  
They were all false,  
but she catered to the mate,  
she adhered to his false wants,  
his façade, his redemptive plan  
that kept them all under his act.  
The mother was dead,  
the broken, battered wife was dead.  
All that wanted to live in this new form  
was the mate that wanted to love him,  
the vampire, the beast that craved blood-  
but he was broken too.  
He desired salvation  
and curtsied and prayed his way  
through the humans who were his fodder.  
He listened to the seeing child,  
never ruling his coven like one should,  
never being the vampire he should,allowing the counterfeit life  
to be run by brats, spoiled by their whim,  
and reign behind his mask.  
He lost touch with what's true,  
what was natural-  
He shunned his reality  
and left his love in the dark,  
corned and shelved till he needed her.  
But when the dark prince finally took his proper throne,  
being brought to life by his own  
newfound mate,  
speaking secrets,  
settling truths,  
making way for the madness brewing at the root,  
it all collapsed,  
the patriarch's world sprawled bare at his feet-  
No more happy home,  
No more possessions to show his worth,  
No more physical to prove his deliverance.  
It's all left burning,  
Being reborn like he once did,  
becoming nothing more than a memory  
of a life that wasn't his to begin with.  
And his mate was right,  
she had it right,  
this was not their life,  
and someday,  
he'd understand.

_****_

Lynette C. Nichols aka TheUnderStudy_**  
**__**03/23/2011**_


	2. Response to Chapter 23 Poems 2 & 3

**Cutting the Strings: A Response to Chapter 23 of Someday Part I**

Understanding now why the seeing child was broken,  
too many visions,  
too may thoughts clouding the possibilities  
of possibilities revisited,  
and her mind rattled on  
with the image of a him.  
Her someday was filled with the boy  
that was loved by the Dark Prince's mate-  
The seeing child wanted her destiny  
served, but complete without the  
expectations of hate  
or a life that was given up.  
She wanted to him to love with a free mind,  
forgotten of little brown haired girls,  
whose love was as deep as humans can allow-  
Yet her mind fractured,  
reality crisscrossed the images of what ifs  
and her insanity became true.  
And now the Dark Prince's mate sees the truth,  
that the seeing child is nothing but a  
grand conductor,  
a puppeteer swaying her meddling hands,  
guiding feet in a line of pre-determined rhythm,  
all so she hold on to a memory-  
her cause is flawed,  
but her dead soul cries out to you,  
and you feel for her-  
The burning in her stone heart,  
the moment the fracture ruptured  
and sucked her mind in deeper,  
the day the seer's mate died,  
when all she could do  
was unlive and plan,  
to try to keep  
the last seed of soul mate  
here on this plane.  
But at what cost  
At who's life?  
One being rings true,  
the one human left at the center  
of it all,  
the one who loved the seeing child's mate  
almost as much as she-  
The dark prince's mirror,  
his other half,  
but it would cost our shining reflection,  
and she too would be left burning.

* * *

**The Dark Prince & The Iron Maiden: A Response to Chapter 23 of Someday Part II**

There really is no true love,  
unless it is bathed in blood.  
Needing to be broken,  
ready to accept this sincere gift.  
The maiden has found such a offering  
in the embodiment of a Dark Prince-  
But he is hers,  
just as she is his,  
wrapped and bonded,  
vined in thorns,  
and rose scented passion.  
In order to become his equal,  
the maiden has to suit herself accordingly-  
for the dark prince is not a man,  
or beast,  
but something far sinisterly delicious.  
He is Charon,  
bringer of death,  
deliverer to hell.  
So the love of his existence  
would need to be  
armored,  
suited for battle along his side-  
She was chosen for a reason,  
having faced human trials,  
fears faced,  
fought,  
wavering only when tangled with trickery-  
But she did not give up,  
did not give in to the pain.  
She remembered his love and held on to it,  
her true binding  
preparing itself for emergence  
on a someday,  
when goodbyes and readied made plans  
were settled and in place-  
But she was tested  
by the seeing child,  
who gambled our maiden's life,  
and thrust the maiden into her battle,  
into her changing.  
But the Dark Prince,  
shaken,  
yet strong,  
kept her focused,  
kept her with him,  
as his brother in arms  
swiftly prepared the Dark Prince's mate for war-  
And with thrice the sun's appearance,  
our maiden will be of iron,  
eclipsing her former shell,  
and becoming his equal

_**Lynette C. Nichols aka TheUnderStudy - **__**03/29/2011**_


	3. Response to Chapter 24 Poem 4

**A/N: My inspiration for this chapter's response came from Jasper's line in chapter 24, when talking to Carlisle:**

_**Carlisle: **__**"I wouldn't say worn down but my mind is certainly... overworked. This has been a lot to handle as I'm sure you can understand. Though not impossible to see, just..."**_

_**Jasper: **__**"Incredible, heartbreaking, unbelievable, disappointing," I offered. "I can give you twenty more if you'd like."**_

**Those words stuck with me throughout the entire chapter. Two other words stuck out in this chapter as well, unavoidable and fear. What came to mind for my reply to this kickass chapter, was a sestina.**

"**A ****sestina**** (also, ****sextina****, ****sestine****, or ****sextain****) is a highly structured poem consisting of six six-line stanzas followed by a tercet (called its **_**envoy**_** or **_**tornada**_**), for a total of thirty-nine lines. The same set of six words ends the lines of each of the six-line stanzas, but in a different order each time; if we number the first stanza's lines 123456, then the words ending the second stanza's lines appear in the order 615243, then 364125, then 532614, then 451362, and finally 246531. This organization is referred to as **_**retrogradatio cruciata**_** ("retrograde cross"). These six words then appear in the tercet as well, with the tercet's first line usually containing 6 and 2, its second 1 and 4, and its third 5 and 3." - en(dot)wikipedia(dot)orgwiki/Sestina**

**Now there...ya learned something. Thanks for reading.**

* * *

**And We All Get Second Chances: A Response to Chapter 24 of Someday**

Turning points provide us with incredible  
possibilities to our once heartbreaking  
existence, giving us an unbelievable  
glimpse of a future we thought disappointing.  
Yet it always comes at a price, a price unavoidable  
that will sometimes drive us into our deepest fear.

But still, things are changing and that fear  
no longer carries the burden that was so incredible.  
It carries with it the truth beyond unavoidable,  
making our souls twitch and bend; heartbreaking  
is the pain that pulls us through, but not disappointing,  
for the true rewards are unbelievable.

Now as the Iron Maiden changes, her beauty unbelievable,  
she is entrusted to the brother in arms and venom. No fear  
from the Dark Prince as his second chance is not disappointing,  
progressing as it should, making the start of his someday incredible,  
even as the woes of his old "family" is their heartbreaking.  
But as he said before, their truths uprooting was unavoidable

The broken mother's burning glory was unavoidable,  
restarting her mate's life in a way he thought so unbelievable.  
While he still grieves his first companion, heartbreaking  
it is for him, but now knowing that being without her is worse; fear  
is what kept him sane, but the truth is crazily incredible-  
to embrace his true instincts within, not at all disappointing

And let us not forget the seeing child; disappointing  
they all could not fully see like her that this was unavoidable,  
that when her love lost, mind fracturing, she purposed an incredible  
plan to keep the last piece close, really not so unbelievable  
that for her, this was all that was left, there was no fear,  
just the plan to keep the memory safe, her connection to the heartbreaking.

Thus embarks the spilt family through the heartbreaking-  
The Dark Prince and the Reborn Leader, neither disappointing  
in what they are and their place, dashing away the fear,  
creating this newfound respect of being what is naturally unavoidable,  
dissolving the with the Dogs of War, the solidifying end of the charade, so unbelievable-  
Taking the Dark Prince's lessons and showing his beast so incredible.

No more fear or undeserving heartbreaking-  
Just the someday becoming incredible with hopes of not disappointing-  
Still one last task unavoidable and a request that will be unbelievable…

_**Lynette C. Nichols aka **__**TheUnderStudy - **__**Friday, April 22, 2011 – 3:42 pm**_


	4. Response to Chapter 25 Poem 5

**A/N: Jasper really spoke to me in this chapter. I wanted to be able to portray what I felt when reading this. Here is our Dark Prince, speaking out on his own. Thanks to duskri123 for her inspiration and use of her words.**

* * *

**I Am Vulnerable: ****A Response to Chapter 25 of Someday**

Finding out now  
that being the Dark Prince  
does not guarantee  
my own armor's strength.  
Many years of wear and tear,  
letting people in to see  
the different parts of me,  
exposing myself to these  
elements of my charred humanity,  
making me susceptible to caring,  
giving a shit about  
whether who lives or dies  
and whether my heart should love,  
whether the sacrifices I made  
was worth it-  
Because now as I see my armor  
melting away,  
I don't feel like I'm worth it.

As I made my plans to keep  
my mate, my love,  
certain aspects of her past  
had to be reworked.  
So with my love for her,  
I secured her precious jewel  
and the fallback of  
it's former protector.  
For what she holds dear,  
I cherish as well-  
Keeping the jewel  
of her womb  
is not an option,  
but I toy with the idea  
of being a father to her  
heart's blessing,  
but I dismiss it, making a choice,  
hoping she understands

Realizing now how much  
I've taken advantage of the  
Brother in Arms and his own mate,  
took their trust and loyalty  
and used it for my own liking,  
a sacrifice, a chance all for  
my lovely Iron Maiden.  
So as my Brother in Arms  
suits my mate up, cares for her,  
makes her stronger, protects her,  
I in turn casted his mate, Sister in strength,  
in the dangers of my game.  
As my Brother's world stopped  
to help ready my Maiden,  
I betrayed him and broke his trust,  
using his own vulnerability of loving me-  
But they made me susceptible too,  
the brother and sister, my true family.

Now I am with my Iron Maiden,  
during her inner battle,  
her weakened hear beats off key,  
but her love for me keeps it steady,  
the promise of her someday looming,  
burning her harshly over and over  
as she proves she is worthy of her armor.  
She makes me feel so exposed,  
ripping off all that I used  
to cover the dirty parts of me still pure,  
holding still to the remnants  
of my broken humanity.  
Even as her heartbeat slows,  
indicating the end of this verse,  
I hope she feels the music in its totality,  
the music of my restless soul.  
Will she still stay with me  
when she learns my hidden truths?

And as my broken armor has me  
completely and insecurely bare,  
a request form one of the  
statues from my false life  
has me shaking and edging to break.  
The Selfish Brother's request  
to be extinguished is harsh,  
a bitter tasting reality  
that for sure is needed, for sure inevitable,  
but asking of my hands  
to so this tasked leaves me  
beyond the realms of my remaining safety.  
But he is so right in that I owe him-  
Doing this will break me,  
but I give him his six foot request  
and swallow him up, crimes and all,  
in my arms of death and goodbyes,  
hoping God will take a second look and welcome him.

Crawling back to my Iron Maiden's human pyre,  
I am left broken,  
unarmored,  
scoured off my shield,  
plucked from my security.  
I try to find solace  
in the only place I have left,  
the arms of my mate…  
But can I withstand the pain,  
using my Brother in Arms & Sister in Strength,  
taking the Maiden's jewel  
and locking it away from her,  
unleashing my hell on the Selfish Brother  
to end his self-imposed suffering,  
but sending him off on his terms-  
I grieve…  
I am bare…  
I am not good enough…

_**Lynette C. Nichols aka TheUnderStudy  
**__**May 3, 2011 3:59 PM**_


	5. Response to Chapter 26 Poem 6

**A/N: Kriss is an awesome inspiration and as always, I thank her profusely. I attempted to write in the Iron Maiden's (Bella) perspective.**

* * *

**Changes in the Key of Someday****: A Response to Chapter 26 of Someday**

Rebirth sometimes takes it time,  
moving from note to note,  
tempting us with an eager tempo,  
but then climbing and rising,  
telling it's story of one's need  
to reform and reemerge,  
to change for the better or even for the worse-

My armor burns as it settles on me,  
fresh from the brother in arms fire,  
searing it to my skin,  
the dancing flames  
bounce underneath  
twirling and twisting  
their way all over  
as the burning beat  
welcomes my branding,  
my entry into this family.

Am I ready for this?  
_Clink, goes another piece  
_It was inevitable, my change-  
_Snap, seals another latch  
_But I still had my dreams to finish,  
_Swoosh, moves my new brothers hands  
_hopes to uncover,  
_Tink, chimes my belt  
_but for reasons still unclear,  
_Poof, disappears my sanity  
_I'm forced into this change

Feeling my Dark Prince close  
as I am adjusting to my armor,  
wanting to keep myself safe in his arms,  
feeling the connection that we share,  
the pressure filled need to be lost  
in his endless song,  
to have only his touch,  
echo over me and soothe me  
as this armor chars

Remembering his words  
that we are never ready to burn for our sins,  
but knowing I would burden through this  
heated metal and burn my forever,  
burn for my transgressions,  
sear my flesh for the love lost,  
for the deadening womb,  
for the arms that once held the cherub  
now held by the fate of my Dark Prince,  
burn for the former lover  
that is still nestled in my heart,  
and the father whose hope fills my soul-  
I wear my sins as badges on armor,  
never to be forgotten

My Dark Prince is worth this  
burn's song,  
he is my life and my new beginning  
and like his love for me,  
I will let it devour me,  
I will be his Iron Maiden

So now ready, my changing done  
and my Whitlock crest  
imprinted into my shield,  
I rise and stand before the mirror,  
eyes truly opened to see  
the armored me-  
But I am lost by what I see  
by the power in the music  
my armor makes as I move,  
I am heavy,  
I am confused,  
this Iron Maiden doesn't seem real,  
the B-E-L-L-A  
I am not

And in his reflection I see him,  
my Dark Prince clad in his own armor,  
seemingly different  
and I truly question my eyes before  
this change,  
for I see more of him,  
different parts of him,  
but I still feel his pull,  
his need,  
my want,  
the song the same  
but the beat a little faster

Hesitation

But I will not falter in this journey,  
I will not give in,  
I will live to fight,  
armored and ready,  
willing to run if needed,  
or dance till they all bleed.

**_Lynette C. Nichols aka TheUnderStudy  
__May 15, 2011 4:03pm_**


	6. Response to Chapter 27 Poem 7

**A/N: It took me a while to really get what I felt was right. Then I realized, nothing can ever be right or wrong with this. So today it finally hit me and I gave in to Peter. So this is from the 'Brother-in-Arms' POV. I hope you like it.**

* * *

**Calm Before the Storm****: A Response to Chapter 27 of Someday**

I am not a follower,  
but I would allow a true leader  
to guide me, to direct me,  
trusting their leadership wholly.  
The Dark Prince had always  
seemed to be the one  
who'd never disappoint me.  
But he left for something miniscule,  
for someone that did deserve him.  
He left my mate and I  
to wonder if we were ever worth it.

Then the soothsayer in me  
alerted me to the change,  
something new was coming.  
Had I known it would come  
in the form of a withering maiden-  
a woman with a desire to be more,  
but lacked the push to do it,  
to break the mold and hands holding her-  
I would have laughed.  
I would have slayed them for their stupidity.  
But the Iron Maiden proved me wrong.

She was something better for him-  
The Dark Prince became something,  
worth me being at his side again.  
Now she was strong, but abused,  
wise and yet whimsical,  
breakable, but her soul invincible.  
So I did what was asked of me,  
I suited the woman, my sister, his mate  
I armored her well and loved her already.  
And I would break the world  
to protect her from harm or even herself.

However, now my leader has fucked us, royally.  
he has broken my trust,  
broken my loyalty and my love.  
He has lied and put my own mate  
in perilous danger,  
one which will take longer to forgive.  
He has brought in someone _different_,  
someone not of this venom that has bonded us.  
He has kept vital secrets from me  
and right now the reasons don't matter.  
He has made me a follower, unforgivable.

So now as things begin to settle,  
the next phase of our existence meshing,  
I begin to accept this fate-  
I must forgive and move on,  
we must prepare and train  
the Iron Maiden and this new _link_.  
We must be settled and ready,  
for whenever the storm may start.  
I try to reason that the Dark Prince  
Has a plan, that there's some meaning,  
instead of thinking he's flying blind.

But even through all of this madness,  
it is good to finally see my Dark Prince  
He is not some perfumed & coiffed Lord,  
he is a true leader and harbinger of Death.  
I have let him guide me to the gates of Hell,  
and I pray we leave victorious.  
When the storm does begin to surround us,  
My mate & I will be by the new Death & Destruction's sides,  
and even I see the _link _being guided with us as well.  
I will not doubt, but be faithful,  
all because the Iron Maiden has made him more…

_**Lynette C. Nichols aka TheUnderStudy  
**__**June 8. 2011 11:00am**_


End file.
